Schlameel Schlamasil

When I was a wee babe, I had surgery on my belly that turned my belly button into what can perhaps be described to have the appearance of an old judgemental person’s pursed mouth. Because of this, my button can occasionally get quite rank. It’s pretty stinky at the moment. True story.

The sky tonight was mesmerizing.

The sky tonight was mesmerizing.

Damn.  It’s true when people say Seattle is a big city, but often feels like a small town.  Today I had brunch with a friend at a great little breakfast place in White Center (the corned beef hash was to die).  As we are walking out, there was a group standing outside.  In this group was this couple, who I used to socialize with when I was good friends with another person who stopped having anything to do with me a while back.  At any rate, this woman we ran into has a history of ex-communicating people from this social group, and I think this is partly what happened with me.  Well, intuitively know is more accurate than think.  Well, actually just straight up know.  There was this ridiculously passive aggressive thing where she removed me from a party list-serv of hers, and the list bot-emailed me to break up with me. Ha. The whole situation with this woman and her social circle and being shunned like an ex-Amish person was a significant part of the reason I distanced myself from the “community” I was pretty involved in.  Too much high school-esque drama, a lot of hypocrisy and pretentious preening, and ideologies that I could no longer get behind. So…the fact that in ALL of Seattle, on a random Sunday morning, a person I could have gone the rest of my life without seeing and given no fucks & who my dining partner also does not have the most favorable view of, in a neighborhood none of us live in (they being especially distanced from the area), at a restaurant none of us had ever been to…they would be the ones we see.  Perf.  I think they may have been trying to cold shoulder us and pretend to have not seen us; but homey don’t play that shit.  I love unexpected awkward situations, especially when everybody acts fake as shit.  Fake people being awkwardly fake instead of their normal level of fake…lurve it.


Before They Pass Away. Photographer Jimmy Nelson traveled around the earth to try and document the world’s most secluded tribes. 

(via darksilenceinsuburbia)

Anonymous asked: Are the rumors true that you'll be making an appearance in CT in April?!

This rumor is like a Loch Ness sighting. Only to be believed by those who witness it.


Skeletor Affirmations (by ghoulnextdoor)



Skeletor Affirmations (by ghoulnextdoor)


“Love is brutal
when it’s done right”
Brutal (via nevver)

(via nevver)


Photographed by Natalie Boog [website]

[h/t: beben-eleben]

Anonymous asked: Not that you give a fuck. But I like that you don't give a fuck.


oh, but i do give a fuck. i can’t not give a fuck. i just choose my fuckholes more wisely now since i developed a little fuck-esteem & realized that a fuck is a terrible thing to waste & moreover that one does not have an infinite store of fucks to give & if one does not value one’s fucks properly one may wake up some fine day to find there’s not a fuck left either to give or to live by. so conserve thy fucks.


Review premieres tonight at 10/9c!


(via huffpostcomedy)