I try so hard to keep my shit in a state that can be perceived as together. And often, life rolls along in such a way that I have others and myself convinced that I might be passably succeeding. Then there are the moments in which it is impossible to deny that I am barely hanging on. I had one of these moments last week. I did a very stupid thing. A thing so stupid that it is only sheer magic and luck and the olfactory incompetence of the cop that I did not end up in the back if a squad car with my life circling the drain of ruin. It was a “wake up and find Jesus” kind of moment. I need to seriously reevaluate my life and my decisions.
Feeling very much that my Seattle friendships must not have been about shit, and it is a community of vultures.